Saturday, May 15, 2004

Funerals Suck

Wednesday morning JR's father passed away. We knew the day was comming but its never easy. Part of me is glad its finally over because now JR and his sisters can move on with their lives. Since thier mother passed away 18 months ago, its been hell for them. Taking care of their father through cancer and Alzheimers has been a very rough ride.

Last night at the viewing they all looked so exhausted. I think the most difficult part for me was watching JR going through all of this. He has not slept or eaten much in a week, and he looks so miserable. I don't know what to do to help. I have offered, but as usual he is too busy making sure everyone else is happy and taken care off to take care of himself.

Last night I got to meet the entire family and what seemed like all of Barbados. What an interesting buch of people. I couldn't believe they hung around the funeral home until the owners had to kick them out. JR and his sisters had been there all day were looking forward to getting some rest, specially LR2 who had just flew in from Europe that day.

The funeral service was very nice. I had never been to a protestant funeral before. All i knew of these ceremonies were the boring catholic crap i was forced into as a kid. I will admit the ceremony was very moving and much more interesting than a traditional catholic funeral. During the funeral, I thought alot about my mom and how lucky I am to have my parents alive. I also wondered what it must be like for JR not to have any parents anymore. It was very emotional for me, allthough I didnt know Mr R. personally, I was moved by what everyone was saying about him. I don't know if it was the sun shining through the windows, the hymns sung acapella, or the moment itself, but I could not help but cry thinking about how unfair life can be sometimes.

There has been a lot of death near me in the last little while. My friend ER lost her father a few weeks ago. My friend RL lost her 3 day old baby to a brain hemorrage last week. Now, I am genuinely concerned for my grandmother who is over 80 years old and was hospitalised 2 weeks ago after falling down in her special care home.

I have never had anyone close to me die. Today was the closest it has been. Through JR, I was able to get a glimpse of what that is like and I can tell you, its not easy. The next few months, perhaps even year or so, is not going to be easy for him. I dont know how I will help him. We will see I guess.

One amusing thing did happen today. I learned that wherever there is a bunch of Bajans, there will be food. And oh my god do Bajans ever love food. When it came time at the reception to chow down, I got out of the way and let them get to the buffet first! I saw women stuffing their purses with pastries, filling plates to take home, and people hogging the potato salad. But that does not compare to the lady I saw scoping out the other funeral receptions to see what other culinary delights were being served. She was politely escored out by the funeral director. As I was telling JR's sisters, I wonder what it would have been like if they served jerk chicken, cuckoo or fishcakes! (Bajan delicassys) Oh and in case you didnt know... A Bajan is a person from Barbados. (I didnt know that until recently)

Anyway...all good things must come to an end... And so must this blog entry.
Thanks for reading.


Ti-Ji said...

Hey Gabriel.

You're right. Losing someone close is tough. I have no grandparents left. They play a key role in someone' life. It's important to have parents and grandparents, and eventually, when you lose them, I suppose you must find another parent, a close friend that can be your family support.

The mourning is tough, but bearable. Some become depressed, some take it lightly, and some learn from it and gain a feeling of responsibility: to be your own parent.

Don't ask me why I'm saying this.. but I had to say something.

Oh by the way, read my new article in the Universit√É© de Moncton section of

A new article will be published each and every thursdays in the Metro Marquee, the Times and Transcript new free arts and culture magazine.

Later Gab!

Oh by the way, no one over here can get Canal Vie, except for Zach. But he forgets... I can't get it and DR can't get it either. I guess we'll catch it on the Life Network.



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