Monday, September 13, 2004

The big 3 0... it can only get worse!!!

Argh. So, last week was the big 3 0 !!! And nothing happened. I mean really, nothing happened. The sky didn't fall, there was no appocalypse, low and behold, I am still alive today, 5 days later.

I celebrated my birthday at Chris and Dion's place. Their regular wednesday night soirée was vegetarian (my choice) and was centered around the fact that 4 us have birthdays either on september 8th or september 9th. Wow. Well cudoes to Chris and Dion for keeping my mind busy while I wait for James to come home from Peru.

James has been in Peru now for over two weeks and I am going insane keeping my mind busy. It wouldn`t be so bad had it not been for my previous job. Yes, you heard me previous. I was hired on with promise of success and career growth to basically be let go 4 months later on the grounds they suck at drumming up business and cannont manage their clients appropriately. I will not point the figure at who I think is responsible for my current job situation, but needless to say, it is not my fault nor SMG`s if I was standing in line at the unemployment office.

So, lets recap :

  • loose job

  • boyfriend leaves for Peru for 3 weeks

  • Turn 30 *gasp*

  • no idea what to do with my life at this point

The funny thing about all this is that I told James a few weeks ago that I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. That it was just too good to be true. I had my dream job, doing my master's degree, boyfriend, blah blah. Well the shoe dropeth.

I am so sick and tired of having this happen to me. Every couple of years its the same story. I go from sitting on top of the world to scraping the bottom of the barrel. If I hear from one more person :"oh you'll find something, don't worry..."

I know all you well wishers are well intentionned, but, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. The fact remains that life is just a big cosmic joke. You spend your life working, working to the bone, to make sure you can keep your idiotic job and some moron, who is more concerned with his profit margins than human life, hands you a pink slip with a big smile saying "Oh, I tried!". Well, I hope this moron is enjoying his 1 million dollar house and his yacht not to mention his RV and luxuery vehicle that he puts in a company paid parking spot every morning. Maybe when he gets of his car tomorrow he can assign himself more stock options. Hey, asshole, I have a bike that I can't even offord to change the tires anymore, can I have a job, please?

So, there I am this afternoon, standing at the unemployment line, registering for my employment assistance check. Welfare. Thats what my bloody life has come down to, government assistance. I have been to funerals that were more fun than the line at the unemployment office. Looking around at the people in the room just made me feel worse. Everyone looking desperate contrasted against me trying to look suave and debonnair. Actually, I was just trying not to go postal.

When I was a kid, slaving away on my family's farm in the smothering heat feeling my skin fry under the July sun, I always kept my hopes up. I knew that one day I would work in an office tower, on a floor so high up that it would have a beautiful view of the city.

So, is there hope? Well, James is cutting his trip to Peru short, thank god, he'll be back tomorrow night. I started applying for jobs today. I applied for about 10 of them this evening. With any luck, i'll be off the couch and in a downtown office tower sooner than later. My application for employment insurance is complete and with any luck the checks will start rolling in 4 weeks.

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